I went back to work part-time last week. I definitely had mixed emotions about being gone from them three days a week, but they are with daddy one day and my dear friend and her two little girls the two other days so they are really in good hands! In some ways it is nice to have work that starts and finishes because that really isn't the case at home:)
Both boys are so happy and playful. It's so fun to watch them explore, meet new people, interact with other kids, and take in the world around them. Judah still likes to be held most of the time and often cries if I leave the room to go to the bathroom or put laundry away. I believe most of it is pretty normal given his personality type, age, and background, but I would be lying if I didn't also say that it can be hard when I am exhausted and trying to make them dinner or do something else that needs to be done and he is screaming to be held...
Speaking of exhaustion- I am exhausted. There is so much joy and I truly strive to savor every moment, but especially today, I am tired. My husband is preaching on James right now for the high school group so I have taken the opportunity to read it again, which reminds me of how much I fall short of being like Jesus- especially when I am tired. There is nothing that reminds me of my need to be more like Him than being a mom and I am oh so very aware that exhaustion makes me the very worst version of myself. To combat all this I have been meditating on some great verses from James so here they are...
James 1
"5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
James 3
"17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."
I understand you. And I cling to that verse from James 1. I have found my brain is like mush as a mom. I have so many things in my head that often small details, like where my keys went when I just had them in my hand, are overlooked. I have found that when I ask God for wisdom for even the smallest detail he answers. He is true to his word. It helps so much. I wish I could say I did it all the time, but the moments when I do I am always pleasantly surprised. Even with just a question on how to handle a whiney clingy child at the moment. (I have a few of those today.)
ReplyDeleteYou are a normal and wonderful mom! Motherhood demands every bit of yourself and you sacrifice your whole life for someone else. Yoru whole life is changed, but it is ohh so worth it. I know that you are tired, but just know it will get better. They only go through stages for a time. Whether it is not sleeping or being clingy they will outgrow it and come to new problems. :) For now rest when they do and ask for help. And know that it is ok to let some things go undone. I have had days where the house is a wreck and I am exhausted, but when the kids napped I did not even come back downstairs. I went right to bed with my bible and read and fell asleep. When I woke up the house was still a mess, but I was better equipped to handle it.
You are a wodnerful mommy! You are molding and shaping the lives of two very precious little ones. And I have no doubt that you are raising them with the fear and admonition of the Lord. Todd is my rock. He is so wise. He reminds me all the time that it does not matter to him if they have the healthiest meal, the cleanest house or anything else. If I am raising them to love and follow Christ that is the number one thing. Everything else is extra. Granted we still feel guilt about the extras, but it is a nice reminder of what matters.
Ok so now that my comment is probably longer than your post I just wanted you to know we love you and you are not alone.
Been totally distracted for awhile. But still have been thinking of you and your baby boys.
ReplyDeleteBecause He lives,
jackie